Dealing with the Wait...

It's been some time since I last posted so thought I would put something up to show I haven't forgotten about regular posting. Last week was my first week of unemployment. To be honest I thought I would miss my work more. My colleagues were very supportive in my last week and it was sad to go and to say goodbye to everyone. I think one of the things I have started missing most is the ability to say I am an archaeologist. I've not yet been in the situation where I've met someone new and been asked what I do but in my mind I don't know 'what' I am anymore. I've been defined by being an archaeologist for about ten years and so it is a big mind shift to realise that's not what I am anymore. I know in the grand scheme of things I am not defined by my job, I am defined by Christ and my relationship with him but it has been a major part of my life for many years.

In this light I'm surprised that I don't miss work more, I know it hasn't been long but for the moment I am enjoying the freedom to spend my time in different ways. It's how I'm spending my time that I really wanted to focus this post on. For those of you wondering if I'm looking for work the answer is currently no. I'm in the fortunate financial position that I don't need one for the moment and I'm hoping that I will be in Slovenia before I would need one. Of course getting a job is complicated by the fact that I'm hoping to be leaving the country very shortly...

I'm no stranger to unemployment, it's a reality many archaeologists face. I was unemployed for about 6 months between 2013 and 2014 before I got the job that led me to Swindon. That was a very difficult time for me. I was living at home and I was prone to bouts of depression - not in the medical sense - where I would wonder what I was doing with my life and if I would ever get a job in the industry I thought God was leading me to. Many of you will be aware that I had an issue with my elbow that meant that I was unable to dig and therefore prolonged my unemployment as non digging archaeology jobs are not very common. Looking back I can see God's hand on the whole situation. He led me to Swindon at just the right time and to the right job. In turn this led me to go to Slovenia for the first time as it was a very cheap destination and I couldn't afford anything more. Even my unemployment then has given me wisdom as to how to deal with it this time.

I'm in a very different situation now, I have something I'm working towards and I know where God is leading me, it's just a matter of waiting. For this reason I've tried to fix very specific tasks for each day so that I can feel like I'm accomplishing something. First thing in the morning I'm trying to spend an hour in Bible study, prayer and reading Christian books. In the afternoons I'm spending an hour learning Slovene and then listening to a sermon or Christian talk I have saved. Amongst all this I'm trying to put all my digital photos in some sort of order (don't ask) and I'm working on finishing a quilt before I go. In the evenings I often have a church activity to go to. I'm not trying to be proud or sound super spiritual but I have the time I can spend with God and I feel it is the most important time of my day. When I was working I have been guilty too often of putting time with God to one side but now I have no excuses and I feel like my day is set up when I spend the first part of it with God. I know for most people this isn't feasible but I think it is important to remember that it is vital that we spend time with God in personal study. For example this morning I was reading part of Daniel 10 and it talks about the spiritual dimension of the battle we are in. Ephesians 6 talks about the sword of the Spirit being the word of God. Never forget the battle we face is not just against the visible things in this world.

That being said it's very easy to say yes I'm spending an hour with God but what does this look like? I'm not trying to say that my way is necessarily best or would work for everyone but it is helpful for me. The first part is spent reading my passage for the day and then writing out my Psalm passage in English and Slovene (yes I'm still continuing with my resolutions). In the background I have Christian music playing. The rest of the time is spent in prayer or reading a Christian book. I find it difficult to spend extended time in prayer, my mind wanders and I find it difficult to focus. To combat this I have started a Word document on my computer and I type out my prayers. It's amazing how much this has helped me focus my prayers into specific topics and the time goes incredibly quickly!

I want to finish this blog post with a book recommendation. Glory Days by Julian Hardyman. This is a book I gained as a student - I don't really remember why - but I picked up again a few weeks ago. It's not a long book and he writes in a very easily accessible style. I think it's an important book as he tackles the topic of living our whole lives for Jesus. To quote the blurb: "Many believers subconsciously divide their lives into Christian activities (church, prayer, Bible study and evangelism) and everything else - the glory bits and the rest. Julian Hardyman shows that God is just as interested in our work and family, our hobbies and skills, our politics and sporting prowess, as the things we think of as spiritual."

For me it has been important to remind myself that going abroad to serve God is not more spiritual than it would have been to remain in England as an archaeologist. It is only because God intervened in my life to lead me to Slovenia that it is right for me to go. It would be wrong for me to go if I only went because I thought it made me super spiritual or better in God's sight. God is interested in the whole of our lives not just the things we do at church or on a Sunday.

So in conclusion, I am still waiting on God's timings and in the meantime I am trying to live my life in a way that honours him and I am cultivating habits that I hope will stand me in good stead when I move to Slovenia.

Advice to my Past Self...

Me looking out over Venice which really is the past!

It was mentioned to me lately that I had not posted anything recently. To be perfectly honest it's because I don't really have any new news. My redundancy has been confirmed and I will officially finish on 12th March (although since this is a Monday I have taken it off as annual leave so I actually finish on Friday 9th March).

As I was planning what to write in this post (apart from the fact there is no news) I started thinking about the journey I have been on to get to this point. I look out to my past self and wonder how I would have encouraged myself and whether I would have listened any way. My aim is that this post may be of some use to those who are possibly thinking of taking the same sorts of steps I have been and are looking to God to guide them in where He wants them to be.

• Encouragements come from unexpected places

Encouragement is so important when looking to take a big step like moving to a new country to serve God. I have been blessed by the reactions I have received and how many people are willing to support me, even people I don't know. What has amazed me most over this journey is how continually God has brought me encouragement just when I needed it. It's difficult to point to specific events but God has provided for me at exactly the right times. Even when things have seemed to be completely out of my control, God has not let me go. My work is probably the best example of this. I have had my contract extended time and again, I had my first redundancy cancelled, I was made permanent and I have had promotions. Yes I am being made redundant now but it couldn't come at a better time. Yes I have been worried and stressed over the years as I have gone through my fair share of hardships but God has kept me safe to this point and that is the greatest encouragement I could have.

• Disappointments also come from unexpected places

This isn't exactly a fun topic to dwell on but I need to be honest about what has happened to me. I will not talk about specific people or events but things have not always panned out the way I thought they would. A combination of people and events have left me disappointed and upset. Some of my insecurities have been picked over, I have not always received the support I thought I might and of course disappointment is not easy to bear. Through this whole process I have been continually praying about whether this is really God's will for my life. I am convinced that it is and although these things are not easy, they are good if they make me turn to God and depend on him more.

• Challenges come from surprisingly expected places

Many people gave me advice or wisdom on what I might expect through this time of waiting. I knew in my head what my daily struggles are and I knew that I may well face new attacks from Satan as I prepared. It's one thing to know about it, it's another to actually face them. For some reason I seemed to think that these attacks may come from unknown areas. In reality and as a slight surprise to me, it's the same old things that I'm facing. The most obvious and constant one is my lack of patience. My prayer for the past 2 years is that I would be patient and trust in God's timing. It almost comes out of my mouth glibly now: "I don't know what's going on but I'm trusting in God and in his timing." Don't get me wrong, I am but it is a daily battle to stop feeling frustrated when things don't happen when I think they should. I am fallible but God's grace is sufficient for me and I know that even when I face difficulties and I struggle God is right there with me.

• Fundraising takes a really long time!

Ok so here's where I show my naivete. I was told and I accepted that people knew what they were talking about but I thought that I would be different, that the money would come flowing in and I would be out in a couple of months. I had wanted to be out in Slovenia by now but again this goes back to trusting in God's timings. Fundraising is hard and as a proper British girl, embarrassing! Who of us really wants to talk about money let alone try and persuade people to give it to you. Many people I know have been very gracious with me as I have tried to muddle through asking for support and I am almost there (I think!) Let me just take this opportunity to say that if you would like to support me then please email me so I can send you a form. I am very grateful for those who have already committed to supporting me and thank God for his provision.

So, past Sarah, or those who may be thinking about serving abroad, these are my 4 pieces of advice and I hope I will take them to heart as I continue to face whatever comes ahead!

Preparing for the Unknown Whilst Facing the Unknown...

This week has been quite an interesting one for me. On Wednesday I found out that I was being made redundant. Before I get showered with sympathy and concern (which I do appreciate) I am fine. It was not unexpected and I had already had the conversation that if someone needed to go I would be willing to go first due to the whole Slovenia situation. I am very grateful that God has give me peace about the whole situation. I am sad to leave because I will miss the work and the people but I know that God has a different plan for my future.

Cleaning Roman pottery

For those who have wondered what an indoor archaeologist does, this is my office! I have been working here for 3 and a half years and although I have experienced many ups and downs, good times and bad, it will be strange not to go back.

I know I was leaving already and I know that this change was always going to come but it feels and is more definite now. I don't yet have an end date but knowing me there will be tears!

So what does this mean for Slovenia? Well as I say this was expected although I had hoped to be able to stay on until I left. That being said I am hopeful that things will speed up a bit. I am totally dependent on God's timing and I know that He is in control. I am still fundraising and it is now more essential than ever that the finances come through so that I can go!

Lidija and I in Slovenia

On a happier note, yesterday I got to spend the day with Lidija Novak who has been in England at a conference in Leicestershire. I was able to show her and her friend Sharon around St. Albans and catch up with the latest news from the church in Ljubljana. It was a lovely day and I feel blessed knowing that I will be spending more time with her and her family when I move to Slovenia. The ladies group from the church had sent me a card with blessings, encouragements and prayers as I prepare to be with them. It is such an encouragement to feel part of the church there before I have even arrived!

Please keep praying for me especially in light of my latest news. I don't know the future but God does and I know that this is all happening for a reason.

24 To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— 25 to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

Staying Rooted...

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. (Colossians 2:6-7)

As a teenager I was blessed by being able to attend a CYFA camp in Colwyn Bay, North Wales every summer. One year we focussed on the book of Colossians and some of the leaders wrote a song based on the above verses (if you know it I bet it's stuck in your head now!) Over a decade has passed since then but I am still encouraged by the song and the verses every time I see them. This morning at church these verses were the basis of the sermon and I was reminded again how important it is to stay rooted in Christ and in His word. I started writing this blog post this afternoon and was thinking about how I am looking to the year ahead and the challenges I face. As I will mention below, my specific focus will be on the Psalms but I didn't manage to finish what I was writing before I left for church this evening. It was just so fitting that the passage we were looking at was Psalm 1 and that the sermon focussed on the importance of meditating on God's word. At the start of a new year it is so important to be reminded that we need to be rooted in and meditating on God's word.

I'm not really one for making new years resolutions but as we come into 2018 and I look forward to all the changes that will be happening in my life I have been thinking about how I can improve my walk with God. I have been reminded recently that if I don't do things in this country then I probably won't do them in another, I need to cultivate good habits now so that I can take them into my new situation. One of my long standing personal challenges is making time for Bible reading and prayer. It's not that I don't want to but somehow the busyness of life takes over. In blunt terms, I faff. At Bible College faffing became the word of the week because I used it so often. I faff and I use up my time in often unproductive ways. I don't make the time I should for meditating on God's word and now this is also extending into not taking the time to learn Slovene. Both of these I know are vitally important!

Over the years I have tried to develop habits and ways of making sure I spend time with God and in His Word. Some have lasted, others haven't. This year as a resolution of sorts (although I hope it will become a long lasting habit) I have decided on a new tactic that will help me address both the issues of reading God's word and learning the language. I was given a lovely notebook for Christmas and so have started each night writing out a Psalm (or a portion of one) firstly in English and then in Slovene. I'm only a week into the year and I'm not going to say it's easy but I can already see the benefits of spending more time than I have done on a part of the Bible I've so easily skimmed over in the past. Writing it out, for me, helps it to soak in and lets me dwell on the words. Repeating it in Slovene allows me to see a comparison of the languages and helps me get used to the language. Reading and writing have always been therapeutic activities for me and this combines the two. I know I need to do it for longer than a week for it to become habit but I am praying that this year I will spend more time with God. I give permission to anyone to check up on me to see how I am doing with this!

I know the year ahead will provide many challenges and probably discouragements but I know that blessing comes from spending time with God and with his people. Not much has changed in the last month since my last blog post, I am still raising finances and praying for the funding I need to go. I was hoping to be going by March but things are quite slow. With God all things are possible and if it is His will to go in March then I know the means will be provided. In the mean time I will try and prepare myself spiritually for the battles I know lie ahead.

Starting to Prepare...

All Nations

This last week I spent 5 days at All Nations Christian College near Ware in Hertfordshire on their Express En Route course. I can't really claim it was a hardship staying and studying in such beautiful surroundings. I chose to go to All Nations as I knew they had good mission specific courses and it is near my parents' house. This worked out very well for me as when I first arrived I realised I had forgotten both my tablet which was to be my bible and notebook for the week and also my phone charger. Cue an hour's round trip back to my parents' to collect them...

That aside I had a very good week and I learnt a lot, not just about mission but also about myself and how I may act and cope in these new situations. If anyone is thinking on going on short term mission or just mission in general then I highly recommend it!

It's hard to sum up in a short blog post what I learnt and gained from a very intensive course but I wanted to share some highlights of the week. Firstly it made me really aware of other parts of the world and where else God is working. It is very easy for me to become Slovenia focussed but this week I was hearing about situations in South America, Asia and also about Nepalis in London! God is in charge of the whole world and is working everywhere. It's only when we grasp this that we can start to realise how big God is and how small we are. This is not to belittle the work in Slovenia or even Europe but God is bigger than that and is working on a grander scale. I feel privileged to even play a small part in this plan.

Secondly I realised that of all places in the world, Slovenia one of the nicest situations I could go into. Again I'm not being naive, I realise there is a lot of problems and work that needs to be done in Slovenia but in terms of practicalities I have it quite easy. I was told I have something like survivors guilt. When I heard about the countries and situations some of the other people are going into it's hard not to compare. I know I have been called to Slovenia and this is the work God has called me to but when we did risk assessments for the countries the worst thing I have to contend with is the possibility of road accidents or avalanches... I think it has been hard for me to put my own challenges into perspective when I have heard what other people will be facing.

At the end of the course we had to write a sentence to describe how the week had been for us. My sentence was that it challenged some of my preconceptions and helped me to think biblically and practically about some of the challenges I will face as I prepare to serve in Slovenia. It definitely gave me a lot to think about and some of it was difficult to hear. There are going to be tough times ahead, spiritually,  emotionally and practically but as I wrote above, God is bigger than all of this. When I face the trials and hardships that will come I know that He is there to lean upon.

So what's next? I'm still fundraising and praying for support to come in. I can't go until I have the majority of my support raised (about €1500 per month). This is a difficult situation for me as it makes it hard to prepare what I'm doing when. If you are able to help me financially, even if you think it's only a small amount then I would be very grateful. Please just email me at s.re.deacon@gmail.com and I'll send you a donation form. If you can't help in this way then I would be grateful for any prayers. I can't do this alone and I am grateful for all of you who are taking an interest in this journey!

Battling the Language...

Habakkuk 2:14 - my first Slovene memory verse

Another question I'm commonly asked is how good I am at languages/ am I learning Slovene yet? My answer is always that I'm ok but not as good as my sister. I shouldn't really compare myself as she studied languages at university...

As Slovenia is not a very large country there aren't very many resources in England. Most of the progress will hopefully be made when I actually move to Slovenia. Part of the plan is to take lessons in Ljubljana. In the meantime I use the only app that actually caters for English speakers learning Slovene - Memrise. As with all things the more time I put into it the better I get.

That being said I think Slovene is a very hard language to learn. The hardest part I've come across so far is that they use the dual form. This means that verbs have different endings if one is talking about two people. For example to say 'we have' could be: midva imava (masculine dual), medve imava (feminine dual), mi imamo (masculine plural) or me imamo (feminine plural). The same is true for you or they!

Language lesson over you'll be glad to know! I have been very blessed to have been sent a Slovene Bible which has been a great tool.

I now use this as my main Bible at church and in Bible studies etc. (I do also keep an English Bible close by). Not only has it helped me start to understand the language in a practical way but it has given me a new insight on different Bible translations. I am starting to have enough understanding that I am able to pick out differences between the English and Slovene texts and so gives a broader view of what is being said. This Sunday was a bit of a triumph for me. It was the first time I was able to read a verse in Slovene before it had been read out in English and understand what was written there. It was made all the more interesting as the English differed in its translation!

This blog post has been very focussed on a topic I know is not as fascinating to everyone as much as me. People ask me the question and start to glaze over slightly if I go into too much detail but this is going to be a massive part of my new life. I should be able to survive in Slovenia using English but as someone helpfully summarised it, I won't reach many people that way!

The language is the culture and I fully intend to embrace it as much as I can! In the meantime I will continue to battle the language and with God's help I will learn the language and people will be able to understand me!

Wait, So You're Not Going to Slovakia...

A common conversation I've had since I became interested in Slovenia is where it is exactly. A lot of people seem to get it confused with Slovakia or at least think that the countries border each other. It probably hasn't helped that I did go to Slovakia in 2013 and 2014 to serve on an English camp for teenagers. 

I thought that I would focus this post on the country of itself to help those who want to know more about the situation I will be going into.

As shown on the above map, Slovenia is on the Mediterranean coast and borders Italy, Austria, Hungary and Croatia. It is shaped roughly like a chicken with the capital, Ljubljana, in the centre of the country. It has a population of about 2 million people, 57% of whom identify as Catholic with just 0.1% Evangelical Christians. 

Slovenia was part of Communist Yugoslavia until it declared independence in 1991. It joined the EU in 2004 and the Eurozone in 2007.

School lesson over! Slovenia is a beautiful and interesting country. Not many places are known as both a Catholic and a former Communist country. When people talk about the church they are always referring to the Catholic church. Shrines such as the one below are common sights across the country. 

Street shrine near Jeruzalem

Evangelical Christianity is looked upon as a cult and viewed with suspicion. It is a country that needs much prayer but we know that God can work in all situations. I don't believe in coincidences and I'm struck by the fact that in Operation World the date for praying for Slovenia is 27th October which happens to be my birthday!

Psalm 96 has been an important Psalm for me as I have been seeking God's will for my life. v3-6 state: 

Declare his glory among the nations,
    his marvelous deeds among all peoples.

4 For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
    he is to be feared above all gods.
5 For all the gods of the nations are idols,
    but the Lord made the heavens.
6 Splendor and majesty are before him;
    strength and glory are in his sanctuary.

These verses remind me of who is in control over all things. God is leading me to work in Slovenia and I pray that He uses me to declare his glory among the nations. 

I can't do this without both prayer and financial support. I know that God will provide all the things I need to serve Him wherever He leads me. Please let me know if you can help me in either way, to copy a phrase, every little helps. The task is daunting but God is big and will be with me every step of the way.